Sunday, August 13, 2006
Flaky people: is it just us or is this a NY/NJ trend?
Are we the only unfortunate sods who end up befriending flaky people or is it just a NJ/NYC phenomenon?????
Ever since we moved back to the NJ/NYC area end of 2004, we have been meeting with people who we think we can actually be friends with. What usually ends up happening is this type of scenario:
Us (eagerly): "let's exchange details and we can get together for dinner or something"
Them: "yeah, sure"
Exchanging of details, etc... Some time later:
Us (me, rather): "Hello, remember us, we met at such and such a place, daughter played well with your child, etc...Would you be interested in coming over for brunch?"
Them: "What a great idea!!"
More exchange of dates, times, addresses
The DAY of brunch, 5 min before they are supposed to ring our doorbell. Phone rings:
Me: Hello?
Them: We can't make it. Our child has come down with a terribly infectious skin ailment just now. We'll call you to make another date."
Me: "Ok, I hope your child feels better. Sure, no problem"
(Me: bloody sods, why couldn't they have called earlier in the morning, instead of waiting for the last minute. All the trouble I went through for this bloody brunch. ...expletives...)
So, this type of situation seems to happen to us A LOT. In fact, we have been back for almost 2 yrs now. We have met 6 couples (and their offspring) and about 5 of them have done this to us. Some of these people don't do this on the first few meetings but I would say, after about, the 5-6 meeting, we experience this. Some excuses we have heard are (the usual "sorry" is added in there somewhere):
- Can't have dinner with you, I have to write my audit report.
- I had this terrible sinus problem. (we met this couple the day after at their child's party so that was the reason for their no-show to some play we planned to go together)
- My fiancee is ill.
- I forgot you invited us to dinner but we now have this incredibly important function to go to.
I am not saying that we have never cancelled an planned engagment but we don't do it either at the last minute or no show at all. There were times when Marlis had a fever and we did not want her to go out so we called hours early to cancel.
We don't remember experiencing this when we lived in Basel. People there (or at least the ones we met) were clear on whether they wanted to get together or not. People there (at least the ones we met) were clear on whether they can commit to something or not. It's ok to say "No, we can't do it" or "No, this is not for us".
It is just plain rude to say "Yes" even though the intention is already, "well, we'll just cancel at the last minute and no harm will be done".
Well, as a FYI, we think this is ill-mannered and shows low character. Say what you mean and do what you say. Is that too much to ask?
Ever since we moved back to the NJ/NYC area end of 2004, we have been meeting with people who we think we can actually be friends with. What usually ends up happening is this type of scenario:
Us (eagerly): "let's exchange details and we can get together for dinner or something"
Them: "yeah, sure"
Exchanging of details, etc... Some time later:
Us (me, rather): "Hello, remember us, we met at such and such a place, daughter played well with your child, etc...Would you be interested in coming over for brunch?"
Them: "What a great idea!!"
More exchange of dates, times, addresses
The DAY of brunch, 5 min before they are supposed to ring our doorbell. Phone rings:
Me: Hello?
Them: We can't make it. Our child has come down with a terribly infectious skin ailment just now. We'll call you to make another date."
Me: "Ok, I hope your child feels better. Sure, no problem"
(Me: bloody sods, why couldn't they have called earlier in the morning, instead of waiting for the last minute. All the trouble I went through for this bloody brunch. ...expletives...)
So, this type of situation seems to happen to us A LOT. In fact, we have been back for almost 2 yrs now. We have met 6 couples (and their offspring) and about 5 of them have done this to us. Some of these people don't do this on the first few meetings but I would say, after about, the 5-6 meeting, we experience this. Some excuses we have heard are (the usual "sorry" is added in there somewhere):
- Can't have dinner with you, I have to write my audit report.
- I had this terrible sinus problem. (we met this couple the day after at their child's party so that was the reason for their no-show to some play we planned to go together)
- My fiancee is ill.
- I forgot you invited us to dinner but we now have this incredibly important function to go to.
I am not saying that we have never cancelled an planned engagment but we don't do it either at the last minute or no show at all. There were times when Marlis had a fever and we did not want her to go out so we called hours early to cancel.
We don't remember experiencing this when we lived in Basel. People there (or at least the ones we met) were clear on whether they wanted to get together or not. People there (at least the ones we met) were clear on whether they can commit to something or not. It's ok to say "No, we can't do it" or "No, this is not for us".
It is just plain rude to say "Yes" even though the intention is already, "well, we'll just cancel at the last minute and no harm will be done".
Well, as a FYI, we think this is ill-mannered and shows low character. Say what you mean and do what you say. Is that too much to ask?
# posted by hy : 10:07 p.m.
